Paranormal Bromance
by WereGarurumonX
Summary: As Nyteblade takes to the simulated city streets of Steelport, the Boss humors him, but doesn't expect to find; that Matt can in fact be pretty cool too. Pre Boss/Matt.
1. Chapter 1

_Disclaimer: "Saints Row," and all related characters are not the author's property—this is just for fun. _

_Summary: As Nyteblade takes to the simulated city streets of Steelport, the Boss humors him, but doesn't expect to find; that Matt can in fact be pretty cool too. _

_Notes: A funny short. Kinda Boss/Matt if you squint… may continue, but for now... one-shot._

* * *

_**Paranormal Bromance**_

'Oh, great… more Nyteblade fan fiction.' Boss said with a labored sigh. For a while he was beginning to regret "knighting" Matt Miller under the Nyteblade moniker. It sounded like a good idea in the heat of the moment. But as one of the Third Street Saints' many mottos went: "What's the worst that can happen?"

The simulated world went on like a disabled clock; constantly twitching and bugging out at random intervals, but as the President indulged in his secret superhero fantasies, he found Matt Miller AKA Nyteblade was taking this whole "Paranormal Bromance" feature to an enthusiastic level. It would be wise to keep an eye on him—just to be sure he wasn't losing his grip on reality… more so.

'I am Nyteblade, may the forces of darkness flee before me!'

Yeah… he was definitely getting way too in to this.

'Uh… where to now Matt—Nyteblade, beating the bad guy? Saving the girl?' The Boss scratched the back of his head, unsure of where this would develop. He gathered how much Matt appreciated the renewal of his infatuated hero, but he knew the more he played along with this little game, the more of Matt's nerd would seep in to him. Yes, he felt like he could handle it, but should the moment come when Matt summoned up Kinzie as the Deadly Canoness, then he'd run like the wind before shit got weird. Well, weirder.

'The Cardinal is still on the loose… we must stop him.'

'Err… okay.' At first he just stood there, watching as Matt stood there, staring at him staring at him. 'Why?'

'Why!?' Matt sighed, breaking character, his normal higher pitched voice replacing the gravely tones of the Nyteblade. 'Because…' He coughed, clearing his throat as once again he stood there, trying his hardest to look like the brave hero he wished he were. '…Ahem, the forces of darkness… um, they are… evil and should be stopped.'

Matt looked mighty proud of himself.

'That all you got huh?' The other male shook his head, trying hard not to laugh at his efforts; after all, there was fuck all else to do. 'Alright fuck it, let's go get those bad guys.' He clapped his hands together, making his way to the church doors. Even while he himself was stripped of his own superpowers, he was liable to kick more ass than Matt… just because he could. But… damn his sense of sympathy for upstaging a nerd, he groaned, halting his footsteps to let the fake vampire take the lead. Give him something at least.

_Nyteblade pushed open the doors of the church, letting darkness spill over him like a shadow. With ever step he took he felt the call of his Vampiric nature feeding his thoughts, clouding his mind_…

_'Accursed creature. You dare to set foot inside this holy temple!' It was the Cardinal—or Matt's version of the Cardinal anyway, stood at the altar, accusing glares and pointed finger. How dare these insolent creatures defile the house of god? Reaching in to his priestly robes, the holy man retrieved twin automatic pistols, and opened fire on the pair of intruders._

_ 'It has been a long time coming cardinal.' Nyteblade leapt high in to the air like a tornado, darkness propelling him off the ground and high in to the rafters, where he jumped, from beam to beam, avoiding the Cardinal's hail of righteous bullets._

'Matt what the fuck?' The Boss grabbed wall, trying to stay out of the action and let his dorky friend achieve nerdgasm. A bullet whizzed passed his ear, skimming lightly over the digitized flesh.

_'Stay down!' Nyteblade yelled, his voice echoing with the bullets through the grand acoustics of the corrupted church. He refused blood any other than his own or the Cardinals to be spilled tonight. His Vampiric powers granted him speed beyond the hand-eye coordination of the Cardinal's. Running along the wall, Nyteblade managed to narrowly avoid the bullets spraying his way and flipped through the air with the combined supernatural ability of the vampire, and of the acrobat. He landed in front of the Cardinals' altar, offering little emotion in response to his success as he heard the guns "click"—empty, they were thrown to the ground with a clattering echo._

Secretly, the boss loved this. It was all quite marvelous, and knowing Matt was happy—practically gleeful that his nerdy little dreams were coming true, filled his heart with a feeling he could not quite identify.

_'You shall not defeat me creature!' The Cardinal shouted, hands gripping the sides of the cloth covering the altar he was still stood behind. 'I will die first.' He ripped the cloth away, revealing the altar to be a hidden mounted Gatling gun._

_ Nyteblade offered no chance for him to pulled the trigger; he sword was already flying through the air like a guided missile, plunging deep in to the Cardinal's chest and impaling him. His death was no small victory, and as the sword pinned his fallen enemy to the tall wooden crucifix behind him—he felt the victory, the revenge and all satisfactions in between race through him. 'So be it.'_

'Whoa….' The Boss watched, and denied with every last breath how damn cool Matt looked pulling the sword from the Cardinal before sliding it back in to it's holster on his back. The sound of screeching tires—approaching cars undoubtedly the Cardinal's solders, coming to trap Nyteblade, assuming his death. 'Matt… playtimes over.'

Matt made sure his final words were as poignant and as well written as any piece of fan fiction he'd ever written, and before turning his back on the scene he'd always dreamed of, he repressed the urge to squeal with delight, and simple whispered: 'Awesome.'

Joined by the friend that allowed him the time and company to allow him to indulge in his little fantasy, Matt grabbed Boss by the shoulders and leapt, with him through the stained glass windows of the church. _Nice exit_.

Yep, tonight the Boss was gonna make sure Matt was not gonna die a virgin.


	2. Chapter 2

_Disclaimer: "Saints Row," and all related characters are property of their respective owners. No copyright infringement intended._

_Summary: Nyteblade and his "sidekick," join forces to dispatch a horde of zombies._

_Authors' Notes: By some level of request, I have decided to continue this story. So here we go with chapter two! Not sure where I'm going to take it but there will be one more coming, so stay tuned. Again this is Boss/Matt, you have been warned, don't blame me if it's not what you want—don't read. There isn't much reference to Boss/Matt, but the tension is there in the end of this chapter and will be explored deeper in the next and final part!_

* * *

_**Chapter Two:**_

'With all due respect boss… but what the hell? You and Matt Miller-'

'Kinzie… not now, I got a killer headache.' Underlining his point, boss emphatically rubbed his temples. 'Besides, you're just jealous… he gets to go on adventures with your favorite Saint and you get to sit and watch—hey, I get it.' Boss sat down on the nearest confortable surface he could find—Kinzie's beanbag, almost squashing her right off of the soft seat as she worked on something on her laptop.

'That's not!' Kinzie pinched the bridge of her nose, adjusting her glasses. 'Are you forgetting? Matt Miller… tried to kill you. And now you're playing besties. It just seems weird to me.'

'We are not "playing besties" Kinzie, I don't know why you're so bent out of shape.' His arms were up in the air in admittance at that one. It was a little strange how quickly the boss could forgive someone so quickly when so many others would have tasted death by now. But then, Boss picked up on Kinzie's tone, and a playful smirk played on his features. 'Wait a minute…'

'Boss… shut up.' She looked away, back to the information displayed on her portable computer—some gibberish he couldn't understand. She knew where he was going with this and it was so not what she wanted to hear.

'No, no… this actually makes sense.' 'The time of the month attitude of yours… the jealously…'

'For the last time, I am not jealous.'

'Kinz…'

'No for goddsake no.' Kinzie hated when boss spoke like he would to a child or some other variant of lesser creature, since Steelport appropriately had no children. 'Shut up… now. Please.'

'Alright alright, I'll let it drop… for now.' Boss heaved himself up out of the soft beanbag, making to leave.

'Where are you going now?'

'Me and matt-er, I mean "Nyteblade" and I have another episode planned.'

'What, again?' She wasn't impressed.

'Yeah, why not? And maybe this time… I'll get to see some big tits.'

'Oh god, just go—get out go, go! I've got stuff to do anyway.' 'As much as I'd love to sit and talk about tits with you, I'm afraid my brain cells are dying just by being in a room with you, so go play your little bromance games with Matt.' By now the redhead was on her feet and shooing him backwards out of her personal space, no longer able to tolerate his company.

'Hey—they are not… bromance?' As the doors to Kinzie's "lair", were closed shut behind her, Boss scoffed boldly before covertly flipping off the door.

'Hey, I saw that!'

* * *

'Finally! What took you so long?' Matt was already in the simulation, in full-Nyteblade gear.

'Eh, it's nothing to worry about… let's go pound some zombies.' He was excited. As he had said before: "Killing zombies is never not fun." And now he had taken the liberty of presenting himself in full-leather bikers gear complete with a big-ass machine gun slung over his shoulder. Matt studied Boss's appearance for a moment before nodding; _he will have to do_. He turned his back to hold his arms out as if addressing some invisible audience… or doing a piece-to-camera monologue—same difference.

'And so it shall be that Nyteblade and his loyal sidekick…'

'Aw sidekick?'

'Ahem.' The annoyed glare from Matt sent a shiver down his spine. He was a pretty good Nyteblade… but then Josh wasn't much to compare him to. 'Nyteblade and his loyal sidekick responded to screams from the local cemetery. A zombie infestation unleashed by the evil doctor Voodoo, an evil scientist with a proclivity for raising the dead, bad Euro accents… and generally being inferior in intelligence to myself.'

Boss watched as the script was written: an entire cemetery appearing before them, complete with a creepy mist and a hungry-but-cheesy looking zombie hoard heading towards them. Matt's new villain character; Doctor Voodoo… well she looked familiar, although instead of dressed in plain clothes; this redheaded villain was dressed in a fashion that could be described as "Bride Of Frankenstein" meets "Nazi Stripper"… kinda hot.

'Err, Nyteblade… why is Doctor Voodoo Kinzie?'

'I do not know this… Kinzie.' He was in character now.

'Riiiight.' Boss nodded, in agreement, Kinzie could be a bit of a downer sometimes, and hell if he wasn't going to take out a chunk of passive-aggressive tension on this Kinzie-lookalike. 'I gotcha. Bring on the slaughter!' He pumped his fist in the air. 'Come at me.'

And the zombies did just that; their bloody hungry mouths salivating with desire as their arms outstretched, their lumbering desperate actions drawing closer to the pair of heroes while Doctor Voodoo watched on, laughing and spouting crap about how they should "prepare to die".

_Nyteblade saw the demon spawn marching at him, there was no other option but to strike them down with his blade, which he unsheathed, swinging it around to face the zombie monsters with a "swoosh". The first un-dead in line found it's skull impaled on the very same blade, which was in turn, tilted hard to effectively take off the entire scalp of the groaning mutant. Its lifeless form flopped to the floor at his feet, spilling brains over his boot. Without so much as a grimace, he tilted his foot and toed the piece of broken skull, not even caring to watch as it sailed through the air and pierced the left eye of another on-coming monster. _

_His Saint, his sidekick was far less stylish in his dispatching of the demonic battalion, and squeezing the trigger proved to be fatal for any zombie near of far. A spray of bullets absolutely decimated an on-coming row of freaks and whilst he did not have the ability of Nyteblade, he was sure with his guns, and for good reason—together, they destroyed zombie after zombie, sending them back to hell._

'Aww baby! I looove this!'

_With a giant leap of supernatural proportions, Nyteblade jumped over the crowd of flesh-eaters, ending up behind them, facing down the cause of this nightmare. 'Doctor Voodoo, I will defeat you. The dead are not yours to toy with.'_

'_Haha! That is where you are wrong fool!' Voodoo had her hands on her hips, watching with maniacal glee as more corpses clawed their way out of the earth at her command. 'The dead exist to serve me! And soon: you will too.' She grinned menacingly, swinging her sword in to his and following a clash of synthetic steel; the two were locked in a full-on sword fight. She had some measure of skill, but Nyteblade, following through with ghostlike speed and eloquence with the bladed weapon, managed to represent himself against her slashes and without hesitation, glided his sword through her middle, chopping the demonic sorceress in two. He stood there, motionless and unpretentious in triumph._

'_The dead serve no one.' Was all he said, before flicking blood from his blade and skillfully sheathing it once more where it could do no harm. Premature in conquest, Nyteblade took the opportunity to watch his esteemed subordinate in all his murderous glory. _

He really did look fantastic in action, it wasn't quite the same watching him on a screen.

_The Saint tore up the risen with a barrage of bullets that left none standing; even reloading his gun, managing to mow down the last of them was no trouble. He scarcely blinked through the blasting power of his gunfire, and developed a near-computerized taste for killing. _

_Nyteblade found, that in fact he had difficulty focusing on the action at hand, his eyes; although he swore to never look upon another human in selfish desires, his heart would swell with amorous pride every time that man cracked open another skull—it was unnerving, but oh so irresistible. _

_After the task had been accomplished by some degree of success, the Saint climbed atop the pile of broken corpses, declaring himself the victor over the hordes of the undead. A sound however forced him to temporarily cease his merriments._

'Thought I'd join you fuckers!' A voice; more specifically, Kinzie's voice spoke and with their attentions drawn to Doctor Voodoo, who's dead body, split in two and still quivering in a mess of blood and guts on the floor glitched about and flickered with sparks of electricity like blue eels on her skin, and in moments the objectified misuse of her disembodied form was transforming in to Kinzie herself—plus an additional extra of a submachine gun.

'Hey—hey! Kinzie… no girls allowed!' Matt shouted, upset that the "smart girl" joining in was interrupting his playtime. He marched up to her, pointing his finger, looking less heroic as he had done moments before, and looking more… flustered. She stood up to him, arms folded with a sassy-ass look on her face—she really did not get along with Matt.

'Since you went ahead and used my image without permission, I am taking the liberty of observing your stupid simulation... for research purposes only, I am not here to… eugh, have fun.' She sounded like the word "fun" was a dirty word, but knowing Kinzie, she would likely die rather than admit she was jealous of Boss and Matt getting along… rather well.

'Pssh, what are you gonna do?' Matt scoffed, wanting badly for it to be just him and his "sidekick" for just a while more, even if it was just a simulation.

'Alright Kinz!' Boss whooped. 'I knew you could be fun if you tried!' There was a little offense in his comment, but he was actually genuinely happy for her to get away from her computer and do something spontaneous, even if it was all pre-programmed.

'Whatever, let's kill some zombies.' She said, rolling her eyes and calibrating her gun of choice.

'Yes!' Boss clapped her on the shoulder; she almost fell over—he didn't notice really. 'Hey Matt, how's about summoning up some more dead guys?' By now Boss and Kinzie were stood side-by-side, aiming at the gravestones, getting prepared.

'Yeah… sure.' And just like that he had become a third wheel in his own story. If only Boss had turned to see him stamping his foot, mad at himself for not password protecting the game, then maybe he would have realized the only reason he invited him in the first place was to have a friend… for once. Leaving them to face the zombie horde, oblivious they were even without him, Matt sulked away to the real world. It wasn't until hours later when he realized he was pining like a sentimental idiot. He finally comprehended the passion he was putting in to this paranormal bromance club thing was coming from a deeper place—A place that a simulation couldn't compare to.

Yep, if he were to fix this, he was going to need to _talk_ to the boss. He sighed. '_No more games'_.


End file.
